That smile is too sensual, too emotional, too enticing.
What held me back from waking up was the dream I liked a lot. In the dream
Timmy is rehearsing a play in a small classroom of the univeristy. I was first
observing his rehearsal like an auidnece but then I sort of came to mind that
I, too, am part of the drama competition. Yes, we are reparing a play for the
drama competition that the Department hosts every year. This year, we still
couldn't figure out a script, so we decided to let the actors go with the flow
and do whatever they wanted to do. T and other actors tried, but T said he
thinks we still need some instructions. The director then gives them some
senarios and asks them to act like what they will do in real life. It sort
of reminds me of Hou Hsiao-Hsien's approach to filmmaking. T seems a little
uncomfortable but manages to come up with awesome dialogues and actions.
I play a small (but somewhat important) part that introduces the whole story
to the audience. I cannot believe I could be in the same play with T but here I
am. With ugly makeup and super causal costume (in fact it's what I wear to
class), I, along with another classmate-cum-actor, open our play.
Of course we won the first place, and I got a bouquet of flowers from a not-so
-secrect admirer who read my short stories in a university publication. T
received standing ovation and he strikes a big big smile.
I woke up and think, well, that was alsmot like what happened in my first year
of master program. My class did win a drama compeition and I did play that
small role (and my only role on stage as I am a terrible actor). That's the
closet experience I might have in acting, and yet that's T's passion and life.
I miss my youthful days when T should have been around (in fantasy). The age
difference is not reconcilable: we are 17 years apart and he's my students'
age. He couldn't possibly be in my youth. But, but, but...
The drivel is purely daydreaming. I wish I woudln't have to wake up though...