Re: [請益] 短英語演講稿 文法勘誤求助

作者: tengharold (RoadMan_A)   2014-08-13 13:01:59
※ 引述《joanne770429 (trivia)》之銘言:
: 這是我的自我介紹英語演講稿(4MINS),非營利用XD
: 個人的文法常常出錯,因此出醜>"<
: 有人願意協助看看哪裡需改善嗎?感恩!
: Water (水)
: Good evening, I'm Joanne. When I was a child, just like the whole world’s
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: kids can’t be exception, my mom asked me that cliché question—what do you
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^once cliched
生硬 [打不出 accnt-e]
: want to be in the future. I said “I want to be a president”. Later I grown
when you grow up. president. Now that I
: up and gradually know more about the social reality and myself, if now my mom
am grown up and understand myself and society better, if my mom
: ask me this question, I’ll say I want to be like the water.
asks... ^now, water.
: I know that’s an odd answer, rather than explain it I try to show you a
^so I'd like to show it.
: performance. What’s the shape of the water now holding in my hand? Bottle.
I'm now... It's
shaped like the bottle. But...
: But if I pour in to a jar like this. The shape changed instantly. On the way
it into a , the water's shape changes instantly.
: of pursuing my self in these 26 yrs, I found I’m interested in a lot of
I've been searching for myself over the past 26 years, and I discovered...
: areas, and, just like the water, I never hesitate to change my “shape”, I
water, I'd never... ; I'm
: always willing to try.
^ [try what?]
: Such as..Even I was study in Foreign Language, I took information
While I was studying in the Foreign Language department, I
: communication as my minor. I ever joined an international student
minored in information communication. I even...
: organization, where I learned how to be a coordinator or leader, to lead issue
leadership and coordination skills, and how to
: based activities. My water characteristic is much more obvious on my
lead issue-based... obviously illustrated
: overseas travelling passion, I went China, Indonesia and Sri lanka for
by my passion in traveling abroad. I've been to... , for
: longest 2 months, I found I’m able to accommodate with different country
as long as two months. I found that I'm able to adapt to different countries...
: well, and I really love to appreciate the beauty of their
and
: culture/religion/food.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 這要怎麼念 XD,culture slash religion slash food 嗎
: Spiritually to say, I’m also water-like. Philosopher Lao tzu said: ”The
, I'm ...
: best of men is like water; water benefits all things and does not compete
best men 還是 best of men
: with them”. It means for its physical characteristic its simple and clear,
Physically, water is simple...
: and always stay lower humbly, but when it gathers, it can be the rain, the
low. become
: river, in the end even the sea, contains and fairly feeds all creatures.
and even... holding and feeding all creatures fairly.
: That’s just what I do or I want to be in my life. I love listen and help
This is what I do and what I want to be. listening to and
: others, normally I used to stay quiet but meanwhile I keep storing up myself
helping others, usually I stay quiet but I am building my strength
: to become a better person, and when the time for me is coming, I’ll ready to
is right, I'll be ready to
: spout like water to devote myself to this world.
and benefit the world.
: 謝謝大家~
作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄)   2014-08-13 13:14:00
The best of men沒錯喔 google看看
作者: joanne770429 (trivia)   2014-08-13 14:01:00
謝謝您!第一個錯誤點改成 just like there’s nokids of the whole world is exception..有比較好嗎
作者: tengharold (RoadMan_A)   2014-08-13 14:40:00
best men = 最好的人best of men = 最好的人 或best [qualities] of men = 人最好的部分更正 best [part(s)] of men所以要請 joanne 釐清joanne 妳第一個錯誤點想說什麼
作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄)   2014-08-13 15:22:00
The best of men is like water這譯句已經廣為流傳
作者: joanne770429 (trivia)   2014-08-13 15:23:00
想說的是 "像世上沒有小孩是例外一樣地.."
作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄)   2014-08-13 15:26:00
的樣子...不過可用其它譯法來避免這句就是了啊...你的意思是不是 (你)不是例外 跟世上其他小孩
作者: joanne770429 (trivia)   2014-08-13 15:31:00
也許我簡單改成"just like maybe all the kids of
作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄)   2014-08-13 15:32:00
一樣都會被媽媽問那問題?
作者: joanne770429 (trivia)   2014-08-13 15:32:00
the world"(就像世上所有小孩一樣)是的K大!我是那個意思沒錯~
作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄)   2014-08-13 15:41:00
我會把那句去掉 然後後面my mom, like every othermom in the world, asked me...
作者: joanne770429 (trivia)   2014-08-13 15:51:00
好的,感謝感謝:)!
作者: tengharold (RoadMan_A)   2014-08-15 00:36:00
"the best of men" 已經是流傳的譯句了。。。我沒查
作者: ckmeat (肉肉)   2014-08-22 06:14:00
原cliche沒錯啊 法語外來語 老生常談
作者: kaifrankwind (大師兄)   2014-08-22 16:09:00
做形容詞+d

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