How I wonder to have a beautiful life
to have a pretty face,
to own many friends, to tell you many stories about mines
to enjoy this life freely.
I am not.
Those past memory always let me do something that other cannot realize
, which I also cannot.
Many people, who have much money, own lots of happiness, dressing
in pretty , flying over the earth .
It is a wish I can never to wish.
Some people encouraged me to face the future, to think the good aspect.
but I always dropped into nightmares in many many many nights.
My teacher, (no , I ceased to received education for many years ) never
reminded me what to do. And he will blame on me following his mood and
thoughts. It is really a terrible phychologic pressure.
I have some friends having much more money than me out of my imagination.
They told me what do they have, not only the profression, also the
characteristics and altitude. I admit those are all my deficits.
I read a magazine today and there is one invitation of a drawer in that article
. The Taiwanese drawer drew
comics for many years , which depicting the politics and news. He said:"
If he was jailed...even for ten years with one meal one day only.
He can still feel like being in the heaven if he can draw in the jail.
He is the model I have to learn. Not only the altitude, but also the
open-minded heart. If I insisted others to help in my way, success will
never happen in my life. Although I know it, I still dropped into my own
little poor world everyday.
I was blocked out of the happiness the rich people owned.
I envy the ones to have the rights to have connection with the famous ones.
To own the resources I desire for.
The world is not fair. it will never be fair until I die.