there are times for most, if not all, people to feel stupid or
embarasing. this is totally notmal, and mundane, if not boring.
my experience is that while you are completely in your world of
stress and embarrassment, other people have yet to realise that
there are things, or emotions, going on within your life. people
do not even know this.
but for my experience with ordinary peole, they are so scared of
these experiences that they literally give up the idea for being
extravagant or beautiful or fancy, instead, they rely on their
offsprings or students to fulfill their ideals, which is actually
good and bad. most people simply flee from such things.
most importantly, you are not alone, people like you for doing such
things really, since you simply the sinful nature of mankind, and no
doubt, everyone has weaknesses.
finally, you can always try praying to god or jesus on such ill feelings.
john 3:16 for god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son,
that whosoever believethin him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
do not feel embarrassed, you are just fine.