作者:
Phillipa (Phillipa)
2017-04-28 13:23:00 最近看了Prison Break的第一季
開始看了第一集後,就被男主角Wentworth Miller煞到了
容我發花痴一下,他真的好帥
且他是同性戀這件事讓我很高興
因為沒跟我一樣的女人可以占有他
輸給男人遠比輸給女人還要讓我舒服
我到剛才才找到他的臉書
很少有那麼帥的明星會寫網誌
更少有明星的網誌會寫進我的心坎裡
https://goo.gl/F8cSxp
這篇網誌是2016年3月寫的
主要是在解釋2010年那時,被拍到穿紅T恤發福照的原因
我挑重點做簡單的翻譯,想知道詳情的請點超聯結看原文
Ashamed and in pain, I considered myself damaged goods.
And the voices in my head urged me down the path to self-destruction.
Not for the first time.
他有過重度憂鬱症的病史,曾經自殺過,不只一次
I've struggled with depression since childhood.
It's a battle that's cost me time, opportunities, relationships,
and a thousand sleepless nights.
從小開始,他就一直再這樣的情緒裡掙扎
無數難以成眠的夜,他失去的不僅只是時間,還有工作機會跟人際關係
In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life,
I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction.
And I turned to food.
It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex.
But eating became the one thing I could look forward to.
Count on to get me through.
There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal
and a new episode of TOP CHEF.
Sometimes that was enough. Had to be.
2010年,是他成年後生命的最低潮,他陷入重度憂鬱
他沒有選擇使用毒品、酒精或是性來讓自己放鬆心情
因為他發現他比較愛吃
除了暴飲暴食外,他還會很期待新一集的美食節目
他必須要這樣,才能讓生命繼續
後來他就變胖了
後來他跟朋友在洛山磯踏青時,就被拍那那張穿紅T恤的發福照
照片輾轉傳到他媽媽眼前
因為家人的關心,他走過了那個谷底
Long story short, I survived.
So do those pictures.
I'm glad.
Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt,
a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle.
My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons.
現在當我看到我紅色T恤的照片、和我臉上掛著的笑容
我就會想起當時我的掙扎
面對那些惡魔時,我所展現的耐心和毅力
Some within. Some without.
Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist.
文末,他說他有時看到網路上有人用奚落的言語笑話他發福照時
他仍會難受到無法呼吸,但是他選擇放下
也借此公開他抗憂鬱的故事,希望大家關心身邊的人
如果你也正陷在痛苦的迴圈裡,一定要向外求救
因為一定有人在乎,他們正在等你訴說