大家安安
新角色克雷德的故事就在剛剛發布了
所以血汗勞工(x)鄉民翻譯大賽(o)又來了~~
本次新增規則：
: 禁止轉PO任何地區的官方版翻譯，這是For鄉民的翻譯大賽
: 濫翻者除名不給獎
人人有獎，只要你是自己認真翻的每篇4000P
可以分段(篇)，最多給獎5篇，總金兩萬
以下是故事本文
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THE CANTANKEROUS CAVALIER
Crest
The earliest known story of Kled traces back to the empire’s infancy and the
Battle of Drugne. In the dusty hills of those badlands, the First Legion was
on the run from a barbarian horde. Having lost the two previous battles, the
men’s morale was low, the army had been forced to abandon its supply train
in the rout, and they were a week’s march from the nearest outpost.
In command of the Legion was a gaggle of wealthy nobles bedecked in spotless
golden armor. They were more concerned with their appearances and the
intrigues of their class than the men they were commanding. Worse, these
commanders—though well versed in assassination and tournament fighting—had
proven hopeless on the field. With the remains of the army surrounded by
enemy forces, the nobles ordered the Legion into a defensive circle in hopes
of negotiating ransoms for themselves.
Then, as the morning sun rose, the mysterious figure of Kled appeared on the
hilltop overlooking the battlefield. He rode Skaarl, an immortal desert
drakalops. The mount stood on only two legs; its ear-like forelimbs fanned
from the side of its head, hanging down apologetically, like a butler who had
accidently dipped his hands in soup.
The lone rider stood on his steed’s saddle. His weapon was rusted, his armor
was worn, and his clothes were tattered— but a relentless anger burned from
his one good eye.
“I’ll give you one chance to get off my land!” Kled announced to the
barbarian horde, but the yordle didn’t wait for their answer. He spurred his
steed and angrily screamed his charge.
Desperate, starving, and furious with the nobles, the Legion’s anger ignited
like blasting powder at the yordle’s insane act of bravado. The enlisted men
rushed after Kled and Skaarl as they tore into the center of the enemy
formation.
What followed was the bloodiest melee the Legion had ever fought. The initial
success of its surprise attack was crushed when the barbarians’ reserve
forces smashed into the Legion’s flanks. With the battle turning against the
Noxians and the enemy attacking from every side, Skaarl panicked, threw Kled,
and abandoned the fight. Like the cowardly lizard creature, the Noxian
soldiers faltered. But at their center, Kled fought on, chopping down foes,
kicking out teeth, and biting faces.
Enemy bodies piled around Kled, and his clothes were soaked with blood.
Despite the casualties he inflicted with every swing of his long axe, he was
still forced back by the barbarians’ relentless tide. He screamed louder
challenges and cruder insults. Clearly, the yordle was willing to die before
ever backing down.
Courage and cowardice are as infectious as the plague, however, and seeing
Kled’s determination, the legionnaires pressed on. Even Skaarl stopped
running and turned to watch the Legion’s last stand.
Then, as the Noxian line was breaking and the enemy’s superior numbers
pulled Kled to the ground, the drakalops triumphantly returned and crashed
into the barbarians’ rear. Snarling and clawing, it dove into the churning
melee until it freed its master. With his mount again beneath him, the
reinvigorated Kled became a whirlwind of death, and it was the barbarians who
broke and ran.
Though precious few of the Noxian soldiers survived, the battle was won. The
tribes of Drugne were defeated, and their lands were added to the empire. The
bodies of the nobles, and their fine golden armor, were never found.
In time, most of the empire’s other legions acquired similar stories of
Kled, proving no defeat is certain in the face of insane courage. It is said
he rides wherever the legions travel, claiming the spoils of war and land for
himself and Skaarl.
Most Noxians find the truth of these tall tales questionable at best. But in
the legions’ wake, signs can always be found proclaiming each new territory
“Property of Kled.”
Crest
The Northern Steppes ain’t the place for fancy undies and golden piss pots.
It’s tough land. Ain’t nothing go here but barbarian raiders, poison grass,
and harsh winds. To survive, you gotta eat rocks and crap lava. And I’m the
toughest, meanest, killingest bastard in these parts. So I figure that makes
these plains mine.
“But how did I end up here? And why am I alone with yer dumb yella hide?” I
say out loud, starting it off again.
Skaarl snorts her response from the rock she’s sunning herself on. Her
scales is dark metal with hints of gold. Ain’t nothing can break that
drakalops’s skin. I’ve seen a steel sword shatter against her leg.
Don’t make her farts smell any better though.
“I’m callin’ you a damn coward. You got somethin’ to say about that?”
“Greefrglarg,” it says as it looks up and yawns.
“It was a hooked grouse! No bigger than my hand. And you run… Darn dumb,
stupid animal!”
“Greef…rglarg?” Skaarl asks as it swats the flies away from its
half-opened eyes.
“Oh, good retort! Yeah, real funny, right? Ha ha ha! I’m damn tired of yer
heretical pontifications. I should leave ya here to die. That’s what I
should do. You’d die o’ loneliness. Hell, you wouldn’t last a day without
me.”
Skaarl lays its head back down on the rock.
There ain’t no use communicating with her. I should forgive her—but then,
and no doubt to mock me, her sphincter splutters rhythmically as she breaks
wind. The smell hits me like a frying pan.
“That’s it, you bastard!” I throw my stinking hat onto the ground and
march away from the campsite, swearing I’ll never set eyes on that
foul-mouthed drakalops again. ’Course, it was my good hat, so I have to trot
back and snatch it off the ground.
“Yeah, keep sleeping, ya lazy flaprat,” I say as I walk away. “I’ll do
the patrol!”
Being ten moons from any farmstead don’t preclude doing the patrol. It’s my
land. And I aim to keep it that way. With or without that treason-ish lizard’
s help.
The sun’s dragging its way down to the horizon by the time I reach the
hills. This time of day, the light plays tricks on you. I meet a snake who
wants to discuss pie crusts. Except it ain’t a snake, it’s the shadow of a
rock.
Damn shame. I have some durn specific notions about pie crusts. At least when
I remember what they are again. I ain’t had a proper conversation about the
subject in years.
I’m about to take a swig of my mushroom juice and explain my views to the
snake, when I hear them.
Drake hounds howling and braying. It’s the sounds those beasts make when
they is herding elmarks. And if there’s elmarks, then there is humans. And
those humans is trespassers.
I scramble up a nearby boulder and check north first.
The rolling hills of my grasslands is empty, save for the iron buttes
scattered across the horizon. The braying sounds might be the mushroom juice
playing tricks on my head… But then I turn south.
They is about a half day’s walk from this hill. Three hundred elmarks
grazing. Grazing on my land.
The drake hounds circle around the herd, but there’s no horses. A few humans
walk around them on foot. Humans don’t like walking. So it don’t take a
genius to figure they must be part of some larger convoy then. ’Course, I am
a genius. So that was easy to figure.
My blood begins to boil. That means more damn trespassers, disturbing my
peace. Here, when I was about to have a lovely conversation about pie crusts
with that snake.
I take another sip of mush-juice and head back to the campsite.
“Get up, lizard!” I say as I grab my saddle.
It raises its head, grunts a response, and returns to lying in the cool grass.
“Get up! Get up! GIT UP!” I yell. “There’s trespassers, invading the
peaceful serenity of our environs.”
It looks at me blankly. I forget sometimes she don’t understand me when I’m
speaking.
I buckle the saddle onto its back. “There’s humans on our land!”
It stands, and its ears perk up nervously. Humans. That word it knows. I jump
into the saddle.
“Let’s get those humans!” I roar, indicating our southward destination.
But the damn beast immediately starts going north.
“No, No, NO! They’s that way! That way!” I say, using my reins to pull the
cowardly beast back in the right direction.
“Greefrglaaarg!” the drakalops cries as it kicks off. In an instant, she’s
running. The insane speed of it makes my eyes close. Scrub grass whips
painfully against my legs. A cloud of dust billows behind us. What’d take me
half a day of walking is past before I can get my hat tied down.
“Greefrglorg!” the drakalops screeches.
“Now, don’t be like that! Weren’t you saying you wanted company last night?
”
The sun is just starting to dip below the horizon when we reach the herd. I
slow Skaarl to a trot as we approach the humans’ campsite. They’d already
started a fire and have a stew going.
“Hold, stranger. Show your hands before you approach,” a human in a red hat
says. Their leader, I figure.
I slowly take my hands off the reins. But instead of putting them up, I pull
my long axe from its saddle loop.
“I don’t think you understand me, old timer,” the human in the red hat
says again. His fellows ready weapons: swords, lassos, and a dozen repeater
crossbows.
“Greefrglooorg,” Skaarl growls, ready to leave already.
“I got it under control,” I tell my lizard, before turning my attention
back to the humans. “I ain’t impressed with your fancy, city-folk weapons.
Now I’m giving you one warning. Get off my land. Or else.”
“Or else what?” a younger human asks.
“You boys best know who you’re dealing with,” I say. “This is Skaarl. She
’s a drakalops. And I’m Kled, Lord Major Admiral of the Second Legion’s
forward artillery—cavalry multiplication.”
Several of the humans start snickering. I’ll learn them soon enough—once I’
m done talking.
“And what makes you think this is your land?” asks the human in the red
hat, smirking.
“It’s mine. I took it from them barbarians.”
“It’s property of Lord Vakhul. He was granted it by the High Command. It’s
his by rightful dispensation.”
“Well, High Command! Why didn’t you say so?!” I say before spitting on the
ground. “The only law a true Noxian respects is strength. He can have it. If
he can take it from me.”
“You and your pony best be moving on, while you still can.”
I forget sometimes humans don’t see us like we see them. It’s the last
straw though.
“CHARGE!!!!” I scream, and snap the reins. The drakalops kicks off, and we
rush them. I meant to make a clever retort first, but I got ahead of myself.
The humans let loose their first volley, but Skaarl raises her ears. Like
giant bronze fans, they shield us as the crossbow bolts ricochet off her
impenetrable flesh.
She roars happily as we dive through their camp at the leader in the red hat.
Swords clang against Skaarl’s hide, while my axe swings. I turn two of them
humans into confetti. The bastard in the red hat’s quick. He ducks under my
blade as we pass by. Another volley of crossbow bolts hits us.
Skaarl screams in fear. Damn thing’s unkillable and immortal, but easily
spooked. Problem with magical beasties, they don’t make no sense.
I yank the reins, and we ride back into the middle of the humans. I easily
kill the rest of his men, but the red-hat bastard’s a tough one. My blade
slams into him—but the blow clangs dully against his heavy breast plate.
That should give him something to think about, anyway.
That’s when the ballista fires. The bolt is longer than a wagon. It smashes
into the drakalops, knocking my long axe from my hand, and sends us rolling
to the ground. Skaarl ain’t hurt. But she shakes me off the saddle and runs
for the hills.
“You ungrateful bastard! We had the frassa-gimps in the razabutts!” I mean
to scream more insults, but my words start tripping over themselves.
I roll to my feet. Dust and grass cover my face. I throw my hat toward the
cowardly lizard’s path, then turn back to kill the man in the red hat.
But behind him, on the hill line, is another hundred of them humans. Iron
warriors, bloodrunners, and a wagon-mounted ballista. Red-hatted blurf-herder
brought most of a legion with him.
“You ain’t nothing but a durn sneaky-sneak!” I scream.
“You don’t look like much,” he says, “but I guess you’re the one who’s
been giving Lord Vakhul’s ranchers so much trouble.”
“Vakhul ain’t no real Noxian. Your lordship can kiss my lizard’s puckered
mudflap!”
“Maybe I’ll let you end your days in Lord Vakhul’s fighting pits. If you
can learn to keep your mouth shut.”
“I’m gonna rip your lips off and use them to wipe my butt!” I roar.
I guess he don’t like that, ’cause him and his hundred friends start
running at me, weapons drawn. I could run. But I don’t. They’ll pay dearly
to kill me.
Red Hat’s fast. He’s nearly on me before I can recover my weapon from the
ground. His blade is high. He’s got the killing stroke. But I’ve got my
hidden scattergun.
The blast sends him to the ground. It knocks me back, too. I tumble end over
end. The single shot buys me some time. But not much.
The bloodrunners are closing fast. Their hooked blades is ready. I’m gonna
die in this turd-stain. Well, if it’s my last stand, might as well make it a
good one.
I dust myself off as the first line of bloodrunners attacks. I’m carving
those dark magical bastards apart, but they’re cutting me to ribbons. I’m
beginning to tire from the effort and loss of blood.
Then the iron warriors scream their battle cries, as they charge in their
thick black armor. They’ve split into two groups, doing one of those “
pinching” maneuvers. Plan on using those two walls of metal to crush me
flatter than a Noxian coin.
Damn it.
Any hope I got of surviving this, it’s gone…
And that’s when I see her. The most loyal, trustworthy, honorable friend an
undeserving bastard like me could ever have.
Skaarl.
Riding like hell toward me. Faster than I’ve ever seen her run. A rooster
tail of dust is shooting up behind her. The damn lizard even picks up my hat
on her way to me. I run to her just as those black-clad warriors are about to
crush me.
I leap into the saddle, and we circle around the iron warriors. There’ll be
time to kill them after we get rid of that ballista.
“It’s been a while since we took on a whole army together,” I say.
“Greefrglarg,” Skaarl screeches happily.
“Back at you, buddy,” I say with a smile wider than a croxagor’s.
’Cause there ain’t nothing I love more than this dang lizard.