https://reurl.cc/VaeEOR
inven global的專訪
擷取幾個重點
What made you decide to retire?
The next thing I’m about to say is unknown to practically everyone. Only
Coach kkOma, the manager, and a couple close people know about this. I’ve
come to the conclusion that I cannot continue as a pro because of my mental
illness.
什麼讓你決定退役的？
我要說的是大家都不知道的事，只有扣馬，經理人，和一些跟我很親近的人才知道。
因為我的精神疾病所以我做出了沒辦法繼續打職業的結論。
Recently, there was a pro that retired because of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder). Is it the case for you as well?
It’s similar. I have 4 mental disorders. At first, I couldn’t even imagine
that I had them. First, I have depression, but these days, a lot of people
deal with it, so I’m not too worried about it. Other than that, I have
adjustment disorder, anxiety disorder, and panic disorder. I found out about
them in 2017, so it’s been a while.
最近有選手因為強迫症才退役，你也是這個情況嗎？
有點像，我有四種精神疾病，我甚至都想像不出來。首先，我有憂鬱症，不過這幾年很多
人都很常見，所以我也不是太擔心。
別的呢，有適應障礙、焦慮症跟恐慌症，我2017年發現的，已經有一段時間了。
(適應障礙症是指個人在壓力事件後的三個月內出現的情緒或行為症 狀，且在壓力源停止
後症狀未持續超過六個月的一種心理反應。)
(恐慌症，是一種焦慮症，特徵為沒有預兆地一再恐慌發作。恐慌發作是突然的短期強
烈恐懼)
(焦慮症或稱焦急症（英文：anxiety disorder）是明顯感覺焦慮和恐懼感的一種精神疾病
。焦慮是對未來事件的擔心，恐懼則是對當前事件的反應，這些感覺可能會導致身
體症狀，如心跳過速和顫抖)
摘自wiki
As I’m hearing about it, I don’t think you’re the only one suffering from
the same problems. Do you ever talk about this with other pros?
I don’t know. I’m the type of person that’s usually closed off, so I’ve
only talked about all this with close people around me. I don't think a lot
of pros know about this as well.
當我聽到這些的時候，我覺得你應該不是唯一一個受到這些問題困擾的人，有試過跟別人談論這些嗎？
我不知道，可能我是那種會把自己隔離掉的人，所以我只會跟一些我身邊親密的人說，知道這些情況的選手也不多。
Nevertheless, it must’ve been a hard decision to make. Did you get any
advice from others around you?
Yes. Whether it was kkOma, my manager, or PoohManDu… they’ve all said, “It
’s right to stop if it’s too hard, but are you sure you won’t be left with
regrets?” Those words struck me real deep, because I really want to keep
playing.
However, my panic disorder started to creep into my daily life. It would
creep up whenever I'd have mood swings. It was time that I brought up my
retirement plans to my parents as well. Things continued to the point where
I, Lee Jae-wan, as a person, would really end up dying. To be honest, I was
looking for a new team a couple days ago, but when I’d have panic attacks,
two to three times a week… I knew I couldn't continue.
不過，這肯定是個艱難的抉擇，你有從你身邊的人獲得什麼建議嗎？
有啊，扣馬、我的經理人還有普滿度......他們全部都說：「如果真的太過艱難的話，就此停止是對的，但你確定你不會留下遺憾嗎？」
這些話真的感動了我，所以我真的很想繼續打下去。
不過，我的恐慌症開始侵蝕了我的日常生活，只要是我有點心情起伏就會發作。
就連我告訴我爸媽退役的消息的時候也一樣，事情再這樣下去，我，作為李宰完的這個人，很可能就要這樣死了。
老實說，我幾天前還在找新隊伍呢，不過當一個禮拜恐慌來襲兩到三次時，我知道我堅持不下去了。
(中略)轉個話題
On the other hand, what would you like to have achieved, but couldn’t?
I’m still like a kid thinking about this, but I regret that I couldn’t hold
the title, ‘The best in the world’. I wanted people to think and say, ‘
Support = Wolf’, but it sucks that I have to call it quits here.
你有什麼想達成卻沒做到的呢？
這個嘛，可能有點像小孩，但我很後悔沒能保住世界最強的稱號，我想要人家一想到輔助就會說Sup=Wolf，不過我必須在這裡離開了啊。
What would you like to do, not as Wolf, but as Lee Jae-wan?
Nowadays, because I’m thinking so much about what I want and need to do, I
only get about 3 to 4 hours of sleep. First, I want to live alone. I want to
experience many new things in a new environment, and live life to the
fullest. I’ve been living with my family while doing for these past two
months, so I felt really useless. Since there were only expenses and no
profit during this time, I became even more worried about the future.
I want to get back to doing the things that I’ve put off as well. I’ve
recently started working out again, and I was really frustrated that I couldn
’t do some of the things that I could do before. Overall, I want to live
more independently.
你有什麼想做的嗎？不是選手Wolf，而是普通人李宰完。
現在嘛，因為我想了我想要做什麼和需要做什麼，所以我只睡3~4小時，首先呢，我想要獨居，我要去新環境體驗全新的生活，而且會充實的生活著。
過去兩個月我一直跟家裡人住，所以我覺得自己真沒用，這段時間只會花錢不會賺錢，我變得更加擔憂我的未來。
也想回去繼續做被我放置的事情，我最近又開始鍛鍊自己了，對我做不到以前能做的事情感覺滿沮喪的，我想活得更加獨立。
Then, as a pro player, this will be the last question you'll receive. Please
send your final messages towards your fans.
Finally, I'd like to thank the fans that have continued to support me over
the years. Although this may not sound genuine, I wholeheartedly believe that
I was able to come all this way because of each and every one of you.
After I won Worlds in 2016, I've stated in an interview that I'm like a
single gear in a clockwork. All the other gears that supported me are every
one of my fans, so I'll continue to treasure all your support in the many
days to come.
Although my time as Wolf, a pro gamer, has come to an end, my time as Lee
Jae-wan is just beginning.
做為選手的最後一個問題了，對你的粉絲說最後的話吧。
我很感謝那些在過去幾年一直支持我的粉絲，雖然很少真正見面，但我能走到這條路上都多虧了你們大家。
在2016奪冠後，我在採訪裡說我像是個齒輪，但那些支持著我轉動的齒輪是你們，我的每一位粉絲。
所以未來的日子裡我也會感激著你們的支持。
雖然作為職業選手Wolf的生涯結束了，但我作為李宰完的時間正剛開始。