1. 徵求翻譯志願
2. 根據ESPN統計 MLB是四大職業運動中最不能接受同性結婚的聯盟 (55.0%反對)
NHL則是最支持同性結婚的聯盟 (92.3%支持)
http://tinyurl.com/8jk5wmb
John Dillinger did a double-take as he walked through the lobby of the
Seaport Marina Hotel in Long Beach, Calif., one night in 2005 after a
baseball game. He saw a flier with a “really good-looking, furry, muscular
guy on it.” It advertised Bear Night once a month at the hotel, and
Dillinger was intrigued.
“I walked into the lobby and my room was fairly close to the lobby where
that club was and I saw the big flier outside and it said ‘Bear Night.’ I
was like, ‘Oh my God, no way.’ Plus, there were all these big burly and
masculine men walking in and out of that place,” Dillinger said.
“I did react, or I should say, my eyeballs reacted. I just hung out in the
lobby a little bit so I could just look around at who was going in and coming
out. I kind of walked by the door and peeked in and that was about it. I didn
’t know anything about the bear scene. I didn’t realize there was another
subgroup of big, masculine men that were gay. It was really shocking to me in
a good way.”
Though men his type were feet away, Dillinger instead went to his room he
shared with a teammate and called it a night. Being a closeted professional
baseball player staying in the hotel with many of his Long Beach Armada
teammates and visiting players, Dillinger never came close to actually going
into the club. The risks were too great.
The John Dillinger of 2012 would have no problem walking into a bear bar or
any gay bar, a far cry from the closeted pitcher who spent 11 seasons in
baseball’s Minor Leagues, where he played for 15 teams and five different
organizations. After retiring from the sport in 2005, he came out in 2007 and
now identifies himself as a happy, out gay man.
“I felt like it was time and I wasn’t afraid of the unknown any more. I
felt like people needed to know,” Dillinger, 39, said about his decision to
come out. He contacted Outsports after reading about the public coming out of
Kevin McClatchy, former owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates, and was happy to
share his story.
Ironically, Dillinger – from Connellsville, Pa., just southeast of
Pittsburgh – was playing for the Pirates’ Minor League system when
McClatchy bought the team in 1996. He knew a woman who was dating McClatchy
at the time and she suspected the owner might be gay; hearing it confirmed
this September “inspired and thrilled” Dillinger.
“What some people do not understand is that it takes considerable courage to
reveal your true self and to not worry about what others may think of you,
especially in professional sports,” Dillinger said. “Whether it’s as a
player or executive, the unknown is what really keeps some of us in the
closet. I’m very proud of Kevin and I wish he and his partner the best for
years to come.”
A typical teen
Dillinger was a star athlete in high school and his focus on sports allowed
him to put off dealing with his sexual orientation. His first awareness of
same-sex attraction came at the age of 10, when he found himself intently
watching Tom Selleck as “Magnum, P.I.” and Lee Horsley as “Matt Houston.”
Rugged, manly men with facial hair like those two TV stars gave Dillinger a
rush, yet in high school he was not conflicted about what that meant.
“It really didn’t bother me that much,” Dillinger said. “I was so busy
playing sports and I didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about it.” He
had a fairly typical teen experience, dating girls, playing sports and being
one of the guys.
Drafted in 1992 by the Pirates as an 18-year-old while attending a junior
college in Florida, Dillinger spent the next 13 years (he did not play in
1999 and 2004) bouncing around baseball’s Minor Leagues, good enough to make
a big-league spring training roster, but not quite good enough to stick on
Opening Day or be called up during the season. An imposing right-handed
starter (6-5, 230 pounds), he finished his career with a 68-70 record and
4.30 ERA in 1,201 innings pitched and countless nights sleeping on motel beds.
His list of teams reads like a Greyhound Bus schedule: Lethbridge, Alberta;
Augusta, Ga.; Lynchburg, Va.; Allentown, Pa.; Raleigh, N.C.; Bridgewater,
N.J.; Syracuse, N.Y.; Little Rock, Ark.; Columbus, Ohio; Salt Lake City,
Utah; El Paso, Texas; Newark, N.J.; Elmira, N.Y., and Long Beach, Calif.
He played for five Major League organizations: Pittsburgh Pirates (five Minor
League clubs), Texas Rangers (0; he blew out his elbow and had surgery),
Toronto Blue Jays (one), New York Yankees (one), Anaheim Angels (two), plus
six independent teams. He jokes that playing for four independent clubs in
2005 qualifies as some sort of record.
“I do not have any regrets whatsoever,” he said. “I had a blast, every
minute and every day I was playing professional baseball. Even not being
really true to who I was was not that big of an issue.”
He spent 1997 on the official Pirates Major League roster to prevent him from
being picked up by another team, but was never called up. His highlight was
spending 2002 spring training with the New York Yankees. “It was awesome,
unbelievable, that team was loaded with talent,” he said of the experience.
“Everyone was so nice and so cordial.” The most he earned in any season
were those six months with the Yankees organization, when he made $90,000. It
was quite a change to go from fried chicken and pizza in the typical Minor
League postgame spread to filet mignon with the Yankees in spring training.
Just one of the boys
The other notable change as Dillinger moved from the lower rungs of Minor
League ball to higher classes was the quality of the women. “They got better
looking as you went up the ladder,” he said with a laugh. Despite knowing he
was gay, Dillinger never acted on it once as a player (he had his first
sexual experience with a man when he was 33 and already retired from
baseball).
“At one point I thought maybe I could get rid of it,” he said about his
same-sex attraction. He just did what everyone else was doing – drinking,
partying and, hooking up with girls. “I liked to have a lot of fun and it
was a way for me to not really have to think about all that stuff.” He even
had three-ways, but never lusted after a teammate because “I was never
attracted to anyone my age.” This helped in the showers, where the sight of
naked teammates had zero effect on him.
“Being gay was a constant thought with me, but it just kind of stood there
in a stalemate,” he said. When he was dating women, he felt that having sex
with a man would have been a betrayal, and when he was single, he was simply
afraid of being found out. His training as an athlete helped him to
compartmentalize, he said.
“We’re taught as professional athletes, if you don’t reach your goal or
your fail, you gotta be able to leave it behind and move on and keep moving
forward. You can’t dwell on anything. I almost kind of put that whole thing
of who I really was in a compartment somewhere and it stayed there.”
Interestingly, Dillinger said he seldom heard gay slurs in the locker room or
at the ballpark. Yet he stayed closeted because of fear of the unknown. “I
was never afraid of anything I could see … but the scariest things are what
you can’t see or predict,” he said.
Had also had zero intention of every telling a teammate: “That was a big
capital N, capital O,” he said. He was at point where even telling his
family was intimidating and a non-starter. When he finally came out to his
family after retiring, he still remembers his father’s first words: “I love
you even more.”
Time to move on
Dillinger decided to call it quits in 2005 while with the independent Long
Beach Armada. His skills were eroding and it was time to move on to the next
stage of life. His life as an open gay man began in 2007 after he told his
family and had his first date with a man. He met the man online and “knew I
was hooked” as soon as the man walked in to their first meeting wearing a
cowboy hat and boots.
He now lives in Nashville and works as an account executive in accounts
receivable for a healthcare firm in Nashville. His partner, Gregory Fisher,
is also in the healthcare field and is a spiritual life coach. Dillinger
describes himself as happy and content and still follows baseball
passionately. He is excited about the World Series between the Detroit
Tigers and San Francisco Giants because ex-Pirates manager Jim Leyland
manages the Tigers. Dillinger remembers the first time he met Leyland in 1992.
“I was 18 and just drafted by Pittsburgh. I was walking through the training
room at Three Rivers Stadium, and Leyland was standing there naked, applying
hemorrhoid cream. I was awe-struck I think, and I walked right over to extend
my hand to shake his. I wasn’t even thinking of what may be on his hands! We
got a laugh and I think he stuck out his hand to bust my balls. We didn’t
shake hands until after he washed them.”
In the years since retiring, Dillinger has told a few ex-teammates that he
was gay and all have been supportive. He says some of his former teammates
and one coach he keeps in touch with on Facebook are looking forward to
reading this story. Despite his time in the closet, he thinks baseball is
ready to embrace an openly gay player because times have changed.
“Playing 162 games a year, you spend a lot of time with your teammates,” he
said. “You spend more time with them than with your own family and friends.
Teams that are close-knit and get along are usually the ones that have better
results. Therefore, being up front and honest with your teammates about who
you are and what you are about will garner more respect from your teammates.”
He also offers advice to any player considering coming out:
“My advice to a player who would decide to come out is to talk to one of
your closest teammates first. If they are understanding and accepting like
they should be, continue further and let the whole team know.
“I 100% believe that most of your teammates will respect you even more if
you are honest with them. Baseball as well as all major sports have come a
long way as far as not tolerating bigoted behavior and homophobic slurs.
There have been quite a few examples recently. Successful athletes have one
thing in common which helps make them successful: NO FEAR. This should be no
different.”