[討論] 幫我改一下應徵文章

作者: diverse101 (帥+有錢+有智慧)   2016-08-02 00:59:53
Hello, my name is Rita Chen. I graduated from college.
As the hobby for me, I have been studying English in my leisure time.
The English-print magazine I like most is The Economist.
I also appreciate the studio of English classroom.
This two contribute me so much.
The reason I choose the teacher as my occupation is because I like the
children and I like the English language.
I have one-year experience of English teaching.
And I have the TOIEC scored 655.
I am ready.
Please give me the opportunity. Thanks.
敗偷
幫我看看哪裡寫錯了
作者: COLONELLIU (大鵰降臨)   2016-08-02 01:01:00
This is a book.My English is very good.
作者: BerITh (戀愛修理亮)   2016-08-02 01:02:00
真的要看英文能力應該就直接跟妳交談了吧妳表現想要這個工作的強烈動機比較重要
作者: diverse101 (帥+有錢+有智慧)   2016-08-02 01:03:00
總之 幫我檢查一下
作者: dsfcomtw (啟程)   2016-08-02 01:10:00
履歷內容,一般、可用、不用改。但,如果妳很想要這個工作機會,需主動打電話去關心面試的時間。
作者: gruenherz (DOREMIFA噗噗噗~~)   2016-08-02 01:17:00
哇塞 精進學人耶 畢業學校打LSE就更強了記得講些處理小孩子的成功戰績
作者: Harrywu119 (茶茶o'_'o)   2016-08-02 01:19:00
你要不要加個台大上去
作者: diverse101 (帥+有錢+有智慧)   2016-08-02 01:29:00
謝謝唷
作者: Harrywu119 (茶茶o'_'o)   2016-08-02 01:31:00
在寫一些怎麼跟小孩活動跟管理
作者: ffreakk   2016-08-02 01:57:00
你的程度應該看不懂經濟學人,提了人家考你就GG了
作者: gruenherz (DOREMIFA噗噗噗~~)   2016-08-02 02:01:00
經進學人鋒面就很有梗了其實用探險活寶跟海綿寶寶交兒童英語應該不錯
作者: pups003 (岡本)   2016-08-02 02:05:00
我推薦辛普森家庭
作者: gruenherz (DOREMIFA噗噗噗~~)   2016-08-02 02:10:00
天線寶寶 有英國腔才是上流鑰匙
作者: tmcharvard (tmcharvard)   2016-08-02 02:48:00
第三句您要不要改成"My favorite English magazine isThe Economist."另外,用"why I chose teaching as a career 來做第五句開頭,您覺得如何,我想這樣會不會比較簡潔
作者: fire60second (生火60秒)   2016-08-02 02:55:00
大略看過就中式英文這樣~
作者: tmcharvard (tmcharvard)   2016-08-02 02:55:00
choose
作者: LongRanger (孤星)   2016-08-02 04:02:00
跟上一篇一樣I 少用一點
作者: Noobungas (蠢九龜兒子)   2016-08-02 06:35:00
these two ?children前面加the是指定吧,你又沒去那邊分數那邊看起來怪怪的,最後好像能力不足在拜託對方
作者: dogp (撈好回台)   2016-08-02 11:19:00
說真的,這個比較像求職文,就是: 拜託,給我工作!那種感覺我會偏好寫自己的經歷讓人知道我準備好惹,而不是告訴別人I'm ready
作者: csco ( ARM 株式會社)   2016-08-02 16:08:00
這是整篇中翻英的概念...

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