我嘗試翻譯了一下，因為這標題太嘲諷太有趣了...
但是英翻得很爛，很多英文俚語跟規則都看不太懂...
真的要好好謝謝平常幫忙翻譯外電的大大阿~鞠躬
Hahahaha The Cavs Traded Two First-Rounders For Timofey Mozgov
哈哈哈, 騎士用兩個首輪選秀交換Timofey Mozgov
http://ppt.cc/6Phd
OK, there are a few ways to look at this.
好滴，分幾個方向來討論。
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, CAVALIERS???? Yes, absolutely you need a rim
protector, and Mozgov fills that role fine. If you go by the NBA's player
tracking, he's holding opponents to 48.6 percent on close field goal attempts
—a little better than Andre Drummond, a little worse than DeAndre Jordan—
and is involved in 7.1 per game. Timofey Mozgov is Fine. But c'mon, man—it's
still Timofey Mozgov! And look at these protections! From Adrian
Wojnarowski's writeup on Yahoo:
你真的確定這麼做嗎，騎士？？是啦，顯然你們是需要一個禁區防守悍將，而且Mozgov是
個不錯的人選。如果去NBA player tracking找資料，他可以將對手的籃下命中率壓到
48.6%──稍微比Andre Drummond好，比DeAndre Jordan差點—而且這命中率包含每場七
次出手。Timofey Mozgov不錯。但是別鬧了，大哥──他使終就是Timofey Mozgov！看看
這些保障內容！根據YAHOO新聞記者報導
The protections on the pick from Memphis: Nos. 1-5 and 15-30 in 2015; 1-5 and
15-30 in '16; 1-5 in '17 and 1-5 in 2018; unprotected in 2019. The
protections on the OKC pick: Nos. 1-18 in 2015; 1-15 in '16; 1-15 in 2017.
After 2017, it becomes two seconds.
曼菲斯的保障選秀權：2015, 16的第一到五及十五到三十順位, 17, 18的第一到第五順位
，以及2019的非保障順位。OKC的保障選秀權：15第一到十八順位，16第一到十五順位，
以及17之後的第二輪。
The OKC pick you can write off as found money, sort of, since it just arrived
in the Waiters deal, in which the Cavs managed to flip Dion Waiters into a
year of Shump and a first-rounder for the cut-rate price of running cleanup
duty on whatever inconveniences J.R. Smith can imagine in the next year and a
half.
剛從Waiters交易得到的OKC的選秀權你可以拿去換現金，騎士剛從此筆交易案得到Shump
以及首輪選秀權，也達到了清出薪資空間的目地，蜼然可以想像得到J.R.後未來的一年半
有多不方便。
But the Memphis pick on top of that has to make your brain itch at least a
little. Memphis is on fire this season, but has to worry about an impending
Marc Gasol free agency and the storm doors falling the rest of the way off of
Z-Bo and Tony Allen. That's got the makings of a pretty good pick! But
Cleveland can't afford to hold onto it, because it really can't afford to be
left just holding its nuts and losing to the buster-ass Sixers. So you send
two firsts out to Denver, make your tacit little admission that you're a
little shook by those LeBron-might-Decision-again rumors, and hope it helps.
Because:
但是拿曼菲斯的選秀權來交易就讓人有些搞不懂了。曼菲斯今年打的很好，但他們擔心
Marc Gasol的即將到期的合約，以及體能下滑的Z-Bo和Tony Allen。這可能會讓曼菲斯獲
得不錯的選秀權！但是克利夫蘭不能這麼做，你真的不能因此而故意輸給盧主七六人。所
以你們將兩個首輪選秀送去丹佛，默默承認你們非常怕LBJ有可能再次Decision的謠言，
希望如此可以有些幫助。因為：
2. The Cavs aren't building shit. If you read around the negative space in
those pick restictions, they're looking at a two- or three-year window and
are going to fire off any assets they have to make sure it actually opens.
騎士不是重建中球隊。如果你看那些選秀限制的負面效應，他們期望未來兩三年，而且清
出所有資產以確保它的穩定。
3. This deal comes off as a recalibration of the actual value of draft picks
is cresting through the league. Remember, the valuation of assets in the NBA
is not absolute—you can't just thumb around the Blue Book and peg your
Good-to-Fair-condition 2014-15 Mike Dunleavy, Jr. at a late-first and cash
considerations—and are informed by a specific point of view. The Morey Model
that's taken over these last few years puts extreme value on the draft picks,
especially first rounders, and talented young players. But not long ago, the
prevailing notion was that expiring deals were valuable enough to trade good
players for useless ones. Now, think—how much have you heard about Amar'e
Stoudemire being a hot trade chip this year? The market is more mature now
than it was then, but there's plenty of track unlaid as far as what a draft
pick is actually worth, and some teams have already begun redoing the math.
這筆交易表現出這個聯盟選秀的真正價值就像裝飾。記得，NBA的財產價值並非絕對的—
你不可能依照藍皮書去用14-15的Mike Dunleavy得到一個最公平的交易條件—還必須注意
以下幾點。Morey Model交易掉了未來幾年的選秀，尤其是首輪籤，和淺力年輕球員。但
不久前，它們的還覺得，快要到期的合約，值得他們使用好球員去交換鳥球員。現在，想
想看，你今年聽到多少次阿罵福線上交易台？這個市場已經比從前成熟了，但還是有許多
放棄賽季，並且開始計算選秀權的價值了
4.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPzIHdZQAj4
5. The old joke is fair enough, too. The Cavaliers draft people like Dion
Waiters. Trade all of your draft picks if you do shit like that.
這個老笑話一樣公平。騎士透過選秀選到Waiters。交易掉所有的選秀權如果你做了這件
鳥事的話
我知道我翻譯很爛，因為我中間根本看不懂...
希望英文好的大大批評指證