雖然前面也有版友試著重翻，
但我還是來翻譯一下吧…
我個人是覺得這種短句的不太能用「翻」的
要理解它的轉折跟爆點
然後找出中文相應的爆句
再用正常中文的語句講出句子來
不然再怎樣都很難好笑…
聽起來也都會很拗口。
以下是我的翻譯
1.
You're hard to ignore, but well worth the effort.
沒人能對你視而不見
但大家都很努力的在嘗試…
2.
Everybody was right about you.
嗯，看來大家罵你的話一點都不過份
3
You are not the dumbest person on the planet but you better hope that he
doesn't die.
你絕對不是世界上最笨的人！
但是你最好祈禱他可以活久一點…
4.
Nothing brightens my day more than your absence.
你一不在，我整個人整天都清爽了
5
i envy people who dont know you
那些不認識你的人… 我真的很羨慕他們
6
I kept having to go back to a hardware store because I kept buying the wrong
part for my project. The old man at the register who’d previously checked me
out said, your twin brother was in here earlier and he didn’t know what he
was doing either.
(這我就不翻了)
7
Do you have to whistle while you take a shit so you know which end to wipe
你擦屁股的時候，
是不是都要先吹個口哨確定一下哪邊是屁股哪邊是嘴？
8
If you ate your make up, maybe you'd be beautiful on the inside.
妳要不要吃一點化妝品？
看能不能至少有一些內在美…
9
you should carry around a potted plant to make up for the air you waste
你要不要考慮種個盆栽
彌補一下你浪費掉的氧氣？
10
You are the human equivalent of a pop up ad
如果網頁的彈跳廣告可以被擬人化的話
大概就長得像你這樣吧
11
God sure ruined a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth.
可惜上帝給你長了牙齒
不然你就是個完美的塞康(台語)了
12
To an Italian: Your mother's pasta sauce is store bought and you know it!
給台南人：
你媽說煮的茶葉蛋其實根本是小7買的
你早就知道只是你根本吃不出來
13
If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
如果你的腦袋瓜是炸藥的話
那大概連你戴的帽子都炸不走吧
14
If ignorance is bliss you're a walking orgasm
如果說無知是一種幸福
你大概會馬上高潮吧
15
You’re not even smart enough to realize how dumb you are.
你真的是蠢到都不知道自己蠢
16
You're like the end pieces of a loaf of bread, everyone touches you but
nobody wants you.
你就像吐司的第一片
大家都是把你撥開然後去拿第二片
17
You are the reason toothpaste needs instructions.
就是有你這種人
才會連牙膏都要附使用說明書
18
Your grades say “marry rich”, but your looks say “keep studying.”
你的成績 看起來像是可以輟學嫁富二代
可是妳的臉看起來像是叫妳用功讀書…
19
If this was a game and you died, you would drop common loot
如果人生是一場遊戲
你死掉時大概也就掉普裝吧
20
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
你的出生證明
用保險套公司的道歉聲明就夠了…
21
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
親戚朋友問到你的時候，
我想你爸媽一定都直接轉移話題吧
22
If you were any more inbred you’d be a sandwich
你再土一點
就可以直接做成吐司三明治了
(sorry這個真的太難XD)
23
Somewhere there is a tree that its sole purpose is to replace the oxygen you
waste, go find it and apologize
這世界上有那麼一棵樹
它存在的意義就是去補足被你浪費掉的氧氣
你最好去找到它然後跟他說對不起
24
25
You just lost an excellent opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
你剛錯失了一個閉嘴的好機會
26
You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place
如果你的腦細胞只有1號跟2號兩個，他們大概在吵誰才是第三名..
27
You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid.
你的外貌還撐不起你的低能…
28
I only take criticism from people I would go to for advice.
(這原文就沒什麼爆點…就不翻了)