最近在網路上看到這篇新聞
http://ppt.cc/HgO0
36個問題加上四分鐘四目相接就能讓兩陌生人愛上彼此?
Are you kidding me(你是玩笑我嗎)?
覺得很有趣就多研究了一下, 也把36個問題羅列出來
這些問題除了引出個人故事之外, 不知不覺會分享價值觀及夢想
等於是有系統地了解彼此的過去/現在/未來
再加上原先設定是兩個陌生人的對談,
仗著「反正大不了老死不相見」的想法大大增加誠實度
沒想到這樣的誠實度反而是增加好感的一大利器
一般聊天要累積這樣深廣度的理解需要很長很長的時間 (且往往礙於情面不一定誠實)
36個問題問完之後, 兩人四隻眼睛定定地凝視彼此, 四分鐘!
想溫水煮青蛙或破冰更進一步的大家可以試試看喔!
有另一伴的人跟伴侶練習也可以增進雙方了解及感情~
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want
as a dinner guest?
如果全世界的人都可以邀請, 你會邀請誰來當晚餐嘉賓?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
想要成名嗎? 怎麼樣成名?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you
are going to say? Why?
在打電話之前你會不會先在腦中預演一次? 為什麼?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
心目中”完美的一天”是長什麼樣子?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
最後一次自言自語地唱歌是什麼時候? 又是什麼時候對別人唱歌?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the
mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which
would you want?
如果預知自己能活到九十歲, 你會選擇後60年能保持30歲時的身體還是心理思想?為什麼?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
關於自己的最終之日有沒有一種神秘的預感?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
列舉三樣你及你的伴侶/同伴的共通之處
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
在你的生命裡, 什麼讓你最覺得感恩?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised,
what would it be?
如果有能力改變成長過程中的被養育經驗, 你想改造成如何?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much
detail as possible.
在四分鐘內告訴你的伴侶/同伴你的人生故事, 越仔細越好
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or
ability, what would it be?
如果明天一覺醒來能夠多一種人格特質或能力, 你希望獲得什麼?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life,
the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
如果有個水晶球無所不知, 無所不答, 你最想問的什麼?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time?
Why haven’t you done it?
最最最最最夢想要做的事情是什麼? 為什麼現階段還沒實現?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
人生中最大的成就是什麼?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
最重視友誼的哪種特質?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
最珍視的回憶是?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
最不堪回首的回憶是?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly,
would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
如果預知再一年你將會突然死亡, 你是否會改變現在的生活方式? 為什麼?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
友誼對你的意義是什麼?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
愛及情感在你的生活中扮演什麼角色?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic
of your partner. Share a total of five items.
與你的伴侶/同伴分享你認為他具有的五個正面特質
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood
was happier than most other people’s?
描述你的家庭關係親密程度? 你是否覺得自己的童年比一般人還開心?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
你與你母親的關係如何?
Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are
both in this room feeling ... “
用「我們」開頭說三句陳述句，例如「我們在這房間裡覺得…」
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I
could share ... “
完成這個句子: 我希望能夠有一個人讓我跟他分享……
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner,
please share what would be important for him or her to know.
如果你能跟你的伴侶/同伴成為知心好友, 你先提點他哪些重要事情?
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time,
saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
告訴你的伴侶/同伴你欣賞他什麼, 請非常非常非常誠實
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
與你的伴侶/同伴分享人生中最糗的一個時刻
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
最後一次在他人面前哭是什麼時候? 自己一人呢?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
告訴你的伴侶/同伴你已經喜歡他哪些特質
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
有什麼對你來說是非常重要嚴肅認真的, 不能拿來開玩笑?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate
with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why
haven’t you told them yet?
如果今晚就要死了, 而且完全沒機會在那之前有任何人際溝通, 你會最遺憾哪句話還沒說出口? 為什麼還沒說?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving
your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save
any one item. What would it be? Why?
家裡失火了, 在搶救完人寵之後, 還能回頭搶救最後一樣東西, 你會選擇拿什麼? 為什麼?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most
disturbing? Why?
在所有家人裡面, 哪一位家人的死去對你造成的打擊會最強烈?為什麼?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or
she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you
seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
分享一個私人難題, 並問你的伴侶/同伴他會如何處理,
並請他分享他認為你對此難題的想法及感覺