看到跟犯罪心理中提到
居住環境的情形可以反映出depression的狀態
段捨離也說居住環境紊亂通常也代表個人生活某些部分的障礙
我想是這樣沒錯
之前好一點想整理家裡
到一半 現在又卡住
什麼都無法做。
正常工作 基本生活所需 程序手續
就耗掉絕大多數的力氣
如果再加上人際關係...
想著最近生活裡發生的事和人和過去
覺得好疲倦。
我是那種絕大多數人認為嚴肅認真的人
並不是很多人能面對這樣的人不感到壓力或凝滯
能跟我自在相處的
多半不是長袖善舞八面玲瓏
就是對於深入的話題 難以理解的的人事物比較有興趣的人
可是這是最真實的我
對我來說 做真實的自己 是一種對旁人的尊重。
假面則是一種 你認為旁人沒有能力辨別 或是不在乎的蔑視。
我並不是真的不明白怎樣才是人們想要的面目
非常偶爾心血來潮 我可以進入那樣的角色
想起曾跟某個網友聊過一次天
後來對方多次傳訊我從沒回過
一年後對方還不時丟訊息來
我清楚為什麼
因為當時覺得對方個性有點輕浮
就算只是聊天也不會有下次
其實flirting, 讓人覺得心癢又抓不到真的不難
講白了就是不要把對方當回事 什麼都不要真誠回答
轉圈圈 開玩笑
然後對方就會覺得你很有挑戰很有趣
很多人對這樣的遊戲樂此不疲
喜歡別人追逐自己的感覺 證明自己的魅力/能力
但是我覺得很無趣
因為就是只是那樣而已 非常簡單 丟1就會回1 沒有任何不可預期
那些群眾會喜歡的樣子也是
要表現出神采飛揚 輕鬆的姿態 並不困難
只是我從來沒有從扮演而得到什麼有意義有趣的事物
.............................................................................
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
A person with a fearful-avoidant attachment lives in an ambivalent state,
in which they are afraid of being both too close to or too distant from others.
They attempt to keep their feelings at bay but are unable to.
They may try to just avoid their anxiety or run away from their feelings but,
instead, they are overwhelmed by their reactions and often experience emotional storms.
They tend to be mixed up or unpredictable in their moods.
They see their relationships from the working model that you need to
go toward others to get your needs met, but if you get close to others,
they will hurt you. In other words,
the person they want to go to for love is the same person
they are frightened to be close to.
As a result, they have no organized strategy for getting their needs met by others.
As adults, these individuals tend to find themselves in rocky or
dramatic relationships, with many highs and lows.
They often have fears of being abandoned but also struggle with being intimate.
They may cling to their partner when they feel rejected,
then feel trapped when their partner comes toward them.
Oftentimes, the timing seems to be off between them and their partner.
People with fearful avoidant attachment may even involve themselves
in an abusive relationship.