Famous and rich people can feel sad and awful enough to end themselves too.
Much of our psychological pain stems from feeling less than our peers,
resulting in shame, anger, and despair, because we 'should've' been able to
do as well as our peers.
Which begs the question, who do we consider as our peers?
Our relatives? Our schoolmates? Our colleagues, or fellow mental health
survivors? Is it a social tribe that we identify with?
Been reading Primates on Park Avenue, and it turns out life on the Upper East
Side is hella scary, and living inside the community forces the author to
adopt the currency that applies to this social tribe: immaculate physical
appearance and the ability to 'be on the in' with many sought after
opportunities.
There's this struggle with being authentic and move at one's own pace versus
being approved and respected by this community you live in.
If I could view myself as a different species than my parents or my classmates,
maybe there would be less self-loathing.
What is a reasonable standard that is achievable but also inspires, tailored
especially for me? If we have to compare to gauge our progress, what is the
bar?

whatever you do, don't compareif you have to, compare with your past self.

That’s the thing though, comparing with past selfalso doesn’t work because I didn’t have depression back then...and then I’ve been pretty much stagnant since depression

Comparison/feeling inferior is not the only (or even the major, in my opinion) reason that those withsocial achievement to feel miserable. I think the book is rather a narrow perspectives/simplicity towards the issue (if comparison is the central topic).Unfortunately human beings are more complex than that, which means, you can still feel hopelessness and despair, even when you "subjectively" believe you are on par with your peers.

That is quite true, people can be miserable havingthings other desire but lacking what truly makes the individual happy regardless of social norm

Well if u have a humanitarian value set of what’s important to u within, that u may evaluate the worldin less competitive ways.Have been trying this approach myself recently.

That’s a good approach