I hate my dad. He is really bad at communicating. Our family is really bad at communicating. I hate his bad hygiene and I hate the noises he makes every time when he washes his mouth. I stay here because I am financially trapped.
I have too many worries. Last night I finally decided to give it try by sending an inquiry email about a study group. But I was not selected. I felt deflated somehow although I am not sure if joining a study group is really good to me. I am about to leave the hospital in one week and I know I need some social connections. Maybe connections from a study group is a bit stressful but they are still connections. Maybe I could start a study group on my own but I don't know how to run it.
A phone counselor told me study is a lonely journey. I know I would need to go through this. I know I have to suffer loneliness. But somehow I cannot bear it. I am so lonely and tired. I want to sleep and never wake up again.