※ 引述《judy404 (如如如)》之銘言：
: 大家好, 以下是我的自傳,麻煩各位糾正我不當之處, 萬分感謝!!
: My name is XXX. I graduated from XX University and my major
: is in Special Education.
通常第一段會寫明應徵的工作項目
I am writing to apply for the XXX position at XXX company.
學歷部分如果這樣寫會比較清楚
I received my bachelor (or master) degree in Special Education
from XXX university.
: Because of the experiences of teaching those children who have disabilities,
: I learned the patient and teamwork ability.
這裡我看不太懂 learned the patient 是指瞭解病人嗎?
一般不會把 Because of, because, when 這類子句或副詞放在句子的開頭
除非是要特別強調
My experience teaching children with disabilities helps me understand
how to work with patients.
: I was hired by a famous chain store for selling consumer electronics
: during my college time. With my excellent sales and negotiation skill,
: I became the Top Sales after two months and obtain top awards several times.
: Due to my sales performance, I was appointed as a representative in
: Information Exhibition, and got best salesman number one every time.
我建議寫出公司名
Before graduating from college, I worked as a sales representative for
XXX Company, a top retail chain selling consumer electronics. My selling and
negotiation skills made me a good salesman. I received my first Top Sales
award in the first two months and received the award several times during my
employment. I was appointed to represent the company at the Information
Exhibition several times because of my performance. I made the most sales
among all representatives each time when I worked at the exhibition.
: I believe “There are no products couldn’t be sold.”
"There are no products that can't be sold"
: Always thinking how to expand and promote the achievements and focusing
: on our every customer. I will be a great candidate for this position
: with my enthusiasm and outstanding learning capacity.
I always think of ways to promote product benefits and value that we can
bring to our customers. I listen to every customer's needs and provide the
best recommendations accordingly.
I feel confident my enthusiasm and learning ability will allow me to make
a significant contribution to XXX company.
: Thank you for your listening.
Thank you for your time. I look forward to talking with you.
我也不是專業的寫手或編譯 只是憑自己的經驗給點建議
有很多地方可能只是每個人寫作風格不同 而不是對錯問題
寫商業書信的時候 我會盡量避免過多的形容詞
另外 skills 通常是複數 即使你覺得是一種技能而不是多種 像是 selling skills
experience 通常是單數 即使你覺得是很多的經驗 像是 teaching experience