嗨大家，我是Lia～
又到了和大家分享好觀念的時間了。好久沒有討論寫作了，今天我們就來針
對一篇我所寫的範文做分析，幫大家複習一下寫作的重要觀念吧！
很多同學都知道要從好的範文中學習，然而，大家常常不知道到底該怎麼閱
讀一篇範文呢？
其實，閱讀範文的時候，我們應該練習思考範文中每個句子的功能，拿這些
句子的重點敘述回頭檢驗自己的同一篇文章（或不同篇文章）相對應位置的
句子，是否也有扮演好自己的角色，達成我們當初在「寫該句時，你想講的
重點」。在此提醒大家，在撰寫一篇作文時，你需要的是辯論能力，而非敘
述能力，因此千萬不要將例子講得過於發散，如此讀者就更看不到你整段的
重點了！
接下來，讓我們來看一篇範文，以理解寫作的審題方式及寫作方法吧！
以下是今天的題目：
Which do you prefer? Having a vacation not far away from where you
work or having a vacation far away.
觀看此題目，會發現這題目有個有趣的畫面，就是要你想像「在公司不遠的
地方度假」以及「在公司附近度假」的畫面。很多時候，同學都會想：這兩
個畫面很衝突吧！出去玩當然要離開公司呀，不然幹嘛出去玩？這時，你不
妨想：既然題目都被問出來了，代表必定有他的掙扎，而且題目本身一定沒
有字面上這麼簡單。因此，大家可以多思考，什麼樣的人才會「只想在公司
附近旅遊」呢？也許是公司的高階主管，他們對於公司有責任心，一旦公司
一有事務，他們可以飛毛腿回來解救；或是，即便沒有什麼緊急事件要他們
回來，他們還是希望在公司附近玩就好了，因為這樣「整趟旅程比較不
累」，可以更快回到崗位上，心情也可以更ready。考試時，同學理應要走
「對你而言最好發揮的立場」，然而，如果你想不到三點論說，用兩個理由
去論辯完全是可行的。記得，寫作不是理由愈多就愈高分，分數的取決反之
在於你的理由寫得是否扣人心弦。
接下來，我們來讀我所撰寫的段落：
People love traveling naturally. However, when people are busy at
work, most would want to head to places closer to their work
places. These people worry that they would not be able to reach
their responsibilities easily. For me, I would indeed have a
vacation in a place far away from work considering my
personalities.
第一段的Introduction，最重視的即是你的思考是不是跳躍了。請從淺入深
慢慢引導你的讀者進入今天的寫作焦點。坊間關於 Introduction 的模板很
多很多，最經典的模板不外乎是While some people believe…. others
believe...。此類模板我會建議大家非常小心服用，這樣的寫法會讓文章變
得生硬許多。引言的第一句通常會從題目提供的畫面某一處切入題目，再慢
慢帶出題目的掙扎，最後寫出自己的觀點。
To begin with, I tend to feel anxious easily; thus, if I have a
vacation near to where I work, I would not truly relax. In other
words, my anxiety would manipulate me throughout the whole
vacation. Last spring, I went on vacation with my friend to
HsinChu. Since Hsinchu was located near to my office, I never
actually felt that I was relaxing because my company was just so
mentally close to me. Sometimes, I would instantly think of what
my colleagues are doing at one very moment, and I would feel a
pang of guilty for running away from work. Examining my mentality
further, I discovered that my anxiety was probably related to the
fact that I was in the same time zone as my co-workers. When I was
in New York, for example, I never had the same problem. Hence, for
the feeling of a true vacation, I would rather have a vacation
further away from where I work.
大家在閱讀第一段時，可以注意到：在寫作時，我們不但要將自己的立場講
得明確，在這類「請你選擇」的題目中，更要清楚地敘明此選擇與你的關
係。這是課堂上我們所強調的「以對象出發」的想點方式，在「需要做出選
擇」的題目中此想點方式可代入。除此之外，如果希望能夠拿到作文高分，
就必須盡力將段落的例子寫得和主題句一樣好，切勿鬼打牆而不做深入的闡
述。如何將段落的例子寫好呢？這裡有兩個關鍵：1) 例子的人事時地物記
得具體 2) 撰寫例子的句型稍微換過，多注意句子的關聯可幫助你用更自然
的方式寫作。
In addition, I care about my privacy, and going to a place far
away from my company enables me to keep my private life to myself.
In specific, my hatred towards colleagues gossiping in the office
oftentimes leads me to choose the most distant destination when I
am booking my next plane ticket. To be honest, once I did
accidentally bumped into my coworker Anna while taking a day off
in Danshui, a famous tourist spot known for its night view.
Luckily, Anna did not recognize me; yet, imagine how horrifying it
would be if she did. Eventually, there will be stories over
stories fabricated around me, and I would never be able to
untangle myself out of these gossips and myths. Since privacy is
considered one of my most important values, I would certainly
choose to travel to places far away from work.
撰寫第二段時，記得讓第二段的畫面核心與第一段有差異。大部分的同學段
落關聯上都不多家著墨，實際上，這是最會凸顯出你的作文等級的地方。再
來，選定了一個段落核心，就不要再發散地寫到其他的理由了，這也是我上
課時常和同學耳提面命的觀念。比如，在這段裡我寫出了”I care about
privacy”，我就會圍繞著 “privacy”的概念申論，在撰寫例子時，我的
關鍵字 “myths and gossips” 也是拿來證明「我有多厭惡 “自己的
privacy” 被他人破壞」。因此，各位不難發現，其實要寫出一篇好作文，
需要的真的不是很多點，而是「深入論述你的理由的能力」。一篇好作文的
每一段，都應可以讓讀者清楚知道段落核心。因此，下筆前，同學不妨問自
己，如果這一整段，我只能簡化成三個字，我會寫什麼？想好段落的目的和
重點，再開始寫作。
Last but not least, I do want my holidays to be respected, which
is why I would choose to go to more distant places for vacation.
In brief, if I travel to places near my work place, my co-workers
will not recognize that I am indeed off work. In short, they will
continue giving me work to do, and eventually my holidays will be
spoiled. For instance, once, I actually went on vacation in the
island, and I discovered that my holidays were not respected by
others at all. When my company had problems, my supervisor called
me directly and asked me to log on my computer immediately to deal
with an urgent request. When I told her that I was on vacation,
she replied that since I was still in Taiwan, it should not be so
big a problem for me to help her solve the case. In comparison,
my co-worker went on holiday exactly the same day as me, and we
were on our holidays for the exact same number of days. The only
difference we had between each other was that she went on holidays
in Spain, whereas I went on holidays closer to my company. My
co-worker Elaine was never called for this issue. From my story,
it is obvious why I would never choose to go on vacations near to
my company again.
剛開始寫這一段時，我其實將這一段寫得特別短（為了大家，我之後將畫面
又補上了）。真正考試時，如果時間不夠，應該盡量力求段落均勻、平衡。
這時，你可以選擇寫較少的細節，但在與題目有關的畫面上，應還是要特別
強調（比如：Taiwan, Spain/ got called to solve a problem, she was
never called 都再次呼應我的「短距離的旅行不被同事看成放假，因此假
期會不被尊重」)。
最後，在寫作時，大家應該會發現，我並不避開使用簡短的句子。實際上，
簡短的句子更有力道，且重點更明確，因此，寫作時不應該只專注於很長很
複雜的句子，而應該要交錯使用不同的句型，作文才會看起來美美的，也才
可以拿到高分喔！
最後，和大家分享我的最後一段：
It is undeniable that people cannot be irresponsible on their work
while they are away on vacation. Yet, for the sake of a true work-
life balance, I believe it would be best for me to travel outside
the territories of my work place. Only by doing so would I really
enjoy my vacation and reset myself for the next challenge in my
job.
最後一段的重點就是將自己的立場重新申論出來，並且盡力將態度推到最
滿！在頭尾處，你可以練習有多一點個人筆鋒，唯一需要注意的，就是不要
劇情跳得太誇張、莫名喔！
以上，是今天與大家分享的寫作範文分析，希望大家品嚐愉快，也在閱讀的
過程中，有很多成長和獲得喔！
～～SK2 Lia