大家好,我是Jacob (常春藤盟校賓州大學英語教學碩士),SK2TOEFL團隊實力養成班顧
問,也專精在TOEFL機經(JJ)彙總整理,所以也可以叫我J2.
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正文開始
最近在幫同學看文章的時候,如果同學一次給我看兩篇,或是之前也幫他看過其他文章,
除了提點一下各篇文章問題外,最後會再問同學一個問題:「你能講得出來為什麼A比B好
嗎?」會要求同學自己主動思考一下,或是站在第三者角度,想像是別的同學寫的文章,
批判一下A,B兩篇。
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以以下兩篇文章為例,是同一位同學寫的。
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文章一
Personally, I believe that public transportation should not be free to the
public based on tax revenue. Not everyone likes to take public
transportation, it will be unfair if someone needs to pay for something they
don't need. For example, the reason why many people don't like public
transportation is that it costs more time than driving. Besides it can be
uncomfortable to take public transportation in rush hours with a lot of
people. I understand Paul's view that free public transportation would result
in having fewer cars on the roads, but he misses an important point that if
all of the citizens start to take public transportation rather than driving
on their own, public transportation might be overwhelmed and the quality of
public transportation can get worse. In this case, fewer people will be
willing to take public transportation.
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文章二
I agree with Claire that people don't match the product's capabilities to
their actual needs. Because many companies are good at using advertisements
to manipulate consumers' hearts, some electronic device companies will use
advertisements to make people think that their lives will be more convenient
with the functions of their products. For instance, my cousin bought the
latest notebook before he went to college. The notebook was fast but also
expensive. He bought it because he saw the advertisements showing that a
college student should have a fast computer to take notes and use other
programs, or they may spend so much unnecessary time that they can not catch
up with others. However, after buying the computer, he realized that he
didn't need it at all; it was fine for him to use a normal notebook..
第一篇很明顯的很雜亂,主題句的論點是「要求不搭大眾運輸的人付費是不公平的」,但
同學接下來講的是「為什麼有些人會不喜歡大眾運輸?」應該要解釋的是「為什麼不使用
的人要付費是不公平的」。
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再來沒有繼續發展,又跳到「太多人搭大眾運輸會降低大眾運輸品質」,整段看下來沒有
一個明確的重點。
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但第二篇就好很多,同學認同「買東西確實常常買了一堆根本用不到的,理由是因為受廣
告影響,」接下來的例子也很貼切。
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我各自給完兩篇的feedback後,就請同學再講一次為什麼第二篇比第一篇好,希望他能確
定方向,這樣往後繼續寫才有意義。所以同學們若寫完文章,除了看單一篇文章,或是請
人給feedback, 也可以考慮比較自己的兩篇文章,並試著說出各自優缺點,以及A比B好
的原因。當然自己看總是無法很客觀,或是有盲點,但是多批判,能站在第三者角度看,
才比較能避免一直出現同樣的問題,讓每次練習更有效率。
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同學們不妨試試看喔!
Cheers,
J2